“Sleep divorce” is a buzzworthy term for couples who choose to sleep in separate beds — or even separate rooms — to improve their sleep quality. While the name might sound dramatic, the concept has gained traction, with more people exploring whether sleeping apart could be the key to better rest and a happier relationship. Let’s unpack the pros and cons of sleep divorce to see if it’s right for you.
The Pros of Sleep Divorce
1. Better Sleep Quality
One of the primary reasons couples opt for sleep divorce is to eliminate disturbances like snoring, tossing and turning, or different sleep schedules. With separate sleeping arrangements, you’re free to enjoy uninterrupted, restorative sleep. The Sleep Foundation notes that many couples who practice sleep divorce experience reduced sleep interruptions and improved sleep quality.
2. Improved Health
Better sleep can alleviate issues like depression, anxiety, and stress, contributing to enhanced mental well-being. By sleeping apart, you reduce disturbances that might otherwise impact your overall well-being. Perhaps a deeper sleep and a bit of alone time before bed or upon waking is exactly what one (or both) partner’s need to feel better resourced to face the challenges of the day ahead. We can never underestimate how important a good night sleep is for each person’s wellbeing.
3. Custom Sleep Environments
Separate sleeping arrangements allow each partner to create their ideal sleep space, from mattress type to room temperature. Perhaps one individual requires a humidifier in winter to sleep well, but the other individual finds the sound of the machine disturbing. Or, one individual needs a cooler space, and the other a warmer space. This personalization can lead to more comfort and satisfaction during rest.
The Cons of Sleep Divorce
1. Reduced Physical Intimacy
Sleeping apart can limit opportunities for spontaneous affection or closeness, which might lead to feelings of disconnection over time. Couples may need to make extra effort to prioritize intimacy outside of bedtime.
2. Perception of Relationship Issues
For some, the idea of sleeping separately carries a stigma, suggesting marital problems or emotional distance. This perception might cause unnecessary stress or judgment from others.
3. Increased Costs
Separate sleeping arrangements often mean investing in additional mattresses, bedding, or even creating a new sleep space. This can be a significant financial commitment.
Is Sleep Divorce Right for You?
Ultimately, the decision to sleep separately is deeply personal and depends on your specific needs as a couple. Open communication is essential to ensure both partners feel heard and supported. If you decide to try sleep divorce, consider ways to maintain emotional and physical intimacy, like scheduling morning coffee dates or evening cuddle sessions before parting ways for the night.
